Some people have fantastic logical powers, but if they are not in tune with their emotional nature, they will never be fully rounded human beings.

We call this spiritual self-knowledge Emotional Intelligence or EQ. And what you need to do is to improve your EQ for better well-being.

What is EQ?

In order to understand this complex intelligence, answer the following 15 questions which will give you, as you answer them, a deep insight into what this intelligence really is.

On each question, give yourself a score from 0 to 5. Nought would mean you were least able in this category, and 5 that you are most able. Be as honest as you can with yourself.

1. I am able to cry in appropriate emotional situations.

2. My attitude to life is positive.

3. I relish others displaying affection towards me.

4. I regularly tell those close to me that I love them.

5. My body language is always in tune with my message, and I regularly use varied and open-armed gestures.

6. I listen with understanding and compassion, and am well known for doing so.

7. I delight in the multiplicity of human characters, and am sensitive to different types.

8. People regularly come to me to help them gain insight. I do help them to gain it.

9. In conversation, I maintain meaningful eye contact.

10. I often ‘feel at one’ with the universe.

11. I am known for my bubbling sense of humour.

12. I am at peace with myself.

13. Other life forms generate in me a sense of wonder and love.

14. Others consider me more mature and wise than average.

15. I am able to express myself on all levels and in all ways.

Now add up your scores.

What’s Your Score?

0-37  Below Average: Such a score will probably indicate that you are not happy with yourself or your lot. You need to make your life more meaningful, both to yourself and others. By changing your circumstances and relationships, you will improve your EQ.

38-46  Average: As this intelligence incorporates peace of mind, laughter and fulfillment, it is worthwhile developing it further.

47-56  Above Average: With the emotional strengths you obviously have already, strengthen those areas where you are weaker.

57-65  On the Right Track: You are comparatively wise and are living a fulfilled life. Continue on the path.

66-75  Emotional Genius: You have great EQ. Enjoy!

How to improve your EQ

The good news is that there are ways to improve your EQ that will lead to better well-being.

Some of the ways to improve your EQ include:

Develop a positive attitude: Most people are emotionally drawn to someone who is positive and upbeat. Few are attracted to a person who is negative and downcast.

Be friendly: Learn to accept with open arms people displaying affection towards you. This may be awkward for people who are more reserved, but at least, be willing to put out your hand for a hand-shake. A good introduction tends to lead to a good relationship.

Be a good listener: People who listen well are often described as more emotionally in tune. Everyone has a story to tell. By listening to their stories, you will come across as a more caring person who is interested in what they say, thereby, gaining their respect and trust.

Develop a wide range of friends: These friends should be of all ages and professions. The more people you meet and get to know, the more experience you will have in dealing with people.

Maintain eye contact: When speaking to people, always maintain appropriate eye contact. This shows the person listening to you that you are genuine and you can be trusted.

Develop a good sense of humour: Together with your positive attitude and increasing openness, a good sense of humour has been found to be one of the most important general attractants.

Develop self-awareness: The more you find out about yourself, the more you will understand yourself and other people. This will improve your EQ and better well-being.

More information on EQ

Psychologists John Mayer and Peter Salovey defined EQ as “the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior”.

According to Wikipedia, EQ is the capability of individuals to:

  • recognize their own emotions and those of others,
  • discern between different feelings and label them appropriately,
  • use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior,
  • manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goals.

Check out our workshop on “How EQ Can Make You More Successful.”


References

  • Buzan, Tony. “Boosting Your EQ.” Adapted with permission.
  • Mayer, John, Salovey Peter. “The Intelligence of Emotional Intelligence.” Intelligence 17, 1993.
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